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Monday, November 12, 2018

Trying to Live Well

We are about to embark on the holiday season and this can be a very hard time of year for some of us. I was running some errands yesterday and people were just everywhere. I became very frustrated. I must confess.... I have been "people struggling" lately.

I told my husband that and he said, "what do you mean"? And I said, " I have been finding myself recently not wanting to be around people". And it's not everyone. It's just the rude ones. Yesterday in the store I was having an internal fit about some of the rude women around. I literally had to calm myself down because I felt as if I was going to explode!

I find myself not wanting to go to restaurants anymore because I have been so disgusted by the attitude of the waiter or how dirty the bathrooms are or the restaurant itself. I feel like if me asking you for a refill on bread is such an inconvenience for you then why are you serving? Why are you working in the service industry? Find a career where you don't feel forced to engage with people. I don't know maybe I am asking too much. 

Even at the office. For the most part I do enjoy the people I work with but those few "bad apples" that are continuously rude gets really old to me. Now that I have expressed my frustration at two of the meetings that we have had now they want to suddenly "act right" when they have been venomous for the last 10 years!  They also expect me to just "get over it" and basically pretend that they have not trashed me all these years. Not a chance.... 

Now I am for forgiveness but only when I know that the person is genuine in their apology and for the individuals in my office (which they have NOT apologized), they are not. So moving on....

For the last several months I have been asking myself. How do I want to live? The answer is I want to live well. So I have to realize and know that not everyone is going to believe in the same things that I believe in. Not everyone is going to be polite, not everyone is going to give respect, not everyone is going to do their part. Dealing with very difficult people or situations requires patience, resolve and restraint.

I can't change people but I can pray. And that is what I do on a regular basis. I have to. I must. Have my prayers been answered? In most cases, yes! When I pray and ask the Lord to help me be a "light" in the grocery store or wherever I am, he then gives me an opportunity to be respectful or helpful to someone. Then they "light up" and respond to me in the same way. So that to me is apart of living well. I just keep telling myself. We have a goal and living well and beautifully is going to require a lot of you Mrs. Shockley but we can do this because we choose to. Being respectful, dressing respectfully, working respectfully and loving respectfully, always.

We can do this for this upcoming holiday season. We must be a "light" for people and maybe, just maybe we may even show them the way. I tell myself that all the time. Don't give up. We are making progress. Live well....

(photos via Pinterest)


  1. Hello Mrs Shockley, sorry to hear about your work colleague's they actually sound like mine too. I work for an airline & flew for 14yrs before I had my son & it was just wonderful, yes there was a few bad apples but at least I didn't have to fly with them everyday.
    I now still work for the company but am office based & I can honestly say ive never worked with a more disrespectful bunch of people. Only last week i finished my shift & was so angry about something that happened which made me look stupid & was absolutely not my fault. I called the team leader & ended up crying as i was so angry. She totally melted & didn't know what to do or say ( as she wasn't with her cronies to support her) but I thought enough is enough I'm speaking up. Which they never expected from me as im "too nice"....
    Thankyou for sharing this post as i am going to carry on being "nice" because it's what comes natural to me & makes feel good.
    Let's carry on shining our lights Mrs Shockley as they dont seem to make people like us anymore.

    Have a great day

    Much love maria xxx

    1. Hello Maria,
      Oh Maria, Maria. Goodness! It sounds like we may be dealing with the some kind of people. I like you had my "fill" of things and spoke up also. Enough was enough! And like your people my classless individuals have to have each other around too. They can not stand one on one. They are really weak individuals but when I spoke up EVERYONE was in the room. I wanted everyone to hear me! I HAD ENOUGH! So now they are trying to give me compliments which I can tell are not genuine. It's stupid. But I like you am a very nice person so when we "sound off" it's a wake up call. But I agree with you. I will continue with what the Lord has called me to do and that is be wonderful to people. It is against my nature to be disrespectful but I will continue to be a fragrance to people and not an odor. As for the nasty individuals in my office, I will continue to ignore them. Thank you for reading Maria! Continue to move forward!

  2. Dear Mrs. Shockley,

    What a timely post (for me). My husband and I have been discussing this very thing and at one point thought it was perhaps the city we live in! I see it's not. We have become so frustrated and saddened by it that we had a discussion and made some changes to eliminate some of the companies and persons who are not treating us with the dignity and respect we treat others.

    We instituted a few right away and are adding more as we can without disrupting our lives totally. These small changes have made such a difference and we are going to continue. Services, stores and particular persons who stress us are going to be eliminated, replaced or ignored.

    We would go for an outing and come home as an oasis from rudeness and crass behavior. No wonder I order online so much, shopping is never a fun experience any more.

    Thank you for posting this...I have all but given up. When we do get good service or have a good experience we are surprised!

    Warmly, Kathleen

    1. Hey Kathleen!
      I think this is a timely post for everyone. I saw author Jennifer L. Scott's video about dealing with nasty people recently and I thought "oh my word, yes"! I am not alone. She mentioned that she has a Youtube troll who follows her and as soon as she posts a video she hits the "thumbs down". I'm just like really?
      But I agree with you when it comes to removing things or people out of your life that bring that in. I have changed the settings on my Facebook page to stop letting certain advertisements come through, I stop going to certain places to shop, I don't spend too much time around certain people. I just can't do it anymore. I am trying not to give up but the world is certainly making it easy. Hang in there Kathleen! There is still some wonderful people around.

  3. Awwww isn't it awful that people actually make us feel like this. I try my best to not let it affect me but it's against my human nature to brush it off & ignore them (as much as I would love too) as i am astounded by thier behaviour, if I even thought i had made somebody feel so stupid or even cry I would be totally devastated . It makes me cringe a little as i am a 41yr old women....i thought all this behaviour was for teenages only. Anyway i have made it my new years resolution to seek a new job as its causing me unhappiness & anxiety & frankly they are not worth it. I have tried for almost 3yrs to rise above it but enough is enough!!!
    Il keep you posted!! Keep up the fantastic work as i love your content.
    Maria xx

    1. I could not agree with you more Maria. Everyone has their fill. I hope that you can find a new career. One that would bring you joy and excitement! Please, please keep me posted on your status!

  4. I worked with a terrible mean girl (a 50 year old mean girl). She checked my work for errors even though we were peers and then sent it to my boss to see. She never smiled except at her cohorts (also mean girls). She was jealous because I was hired at a higher salary because I am older, more experienced, and I asked for my salary and they agreed to it. She set out to prove I wasn't worth the salary and almost succeeded in getting me to quit. I am still standing and she went to work in another department. All I can say is that when things look awful and there is nowhere to go and change seems impossible, there are sometimes vibrations underfoot that turn into events that make everything change. You just have to wait for it. Awful as it is to say, sometimes people die. Sometimes they move on. Sometimes the company is sold unexpectedly and the mix gets stirred up in a new configuration. You just never know.

    1. Hello Donna,
      Wow a 50 year old mean girl. I never thought I would hear the day when women in their 50's are still being childish. That is very scary to me. She wanted to prove that you were not worth the money? Wow, I actually had someone try to do that to me some years back at the previous firm I worked at. She went in several times and told the partners that they should not promoted to paralegal. One of my co-workers heard the conversation and they knew it so they promoted me and I out worked her completely. I ended up leaving for the job that I have now and guess what, she was trying to apply for my new position and could not even get an interview. Interesting right? I needed to hear your words above. I have heard them before but it is a nice reminder. People do move on and things in life do happen. It was nice to hear your story turned out well. Thank you Donna! I needed that!